Last Updated on April 3, 2021
3. You can change these patterns
As we mentioned, realizing that there is a pattern to your arguments is the first step to changing things. By being aware of the pattern that leads up to the arguments between you and your kid, you can plan for the next time. And your plan should be as simple as this: you will refuse to engage. Saying something simple like “We have talked about this before, and I don’t have anything else to add to the subject” is a great way of ending an argument before it even starts. Then, leave the room. Your child will be left with no power to try and get things their way. There can’t be a fight if just one person is screaming alone.
4. Tell them you are not going to fight them anymore
After realizing there is a pattern and trying to work around it, it’s time to try and talk to your child about this issue. Find positive ways to talk to your child calmly and explain why you have decided to no longer engage in pointless arguments with them. Start by telling them about the pattern that leads to those disagreements. Then, calmly explain to them that screaming at each other will amount to nothing and that the next time this topic comes, you should both calm down before talking about it.
5. Treat your child the way you’d like to be treated
Even if your kid is already a teenager, they are not fully developed adults. They still rely on their parents as role models for their behavior. That being said, you can get them to stop arguing with you if you stop doing it too. Finding a communication pattern that is healthy and engaging to your child is the best way to ensure that their behavior towards you will improve. Whether you like it or not, kids tend to copy their parent’s behavior – and the way you act can teach them way more than words ever could.
6. Be content with every small step
While refusing to argue with your child might sound like something small, it is pretty huge. Even if they don’t react the way you intended them to, you should be proud that you did not allow them to push your buttons to a breaking point. It’s all a matter of time and training. You will develop your techniques and get better as you go. The important thing is not to give up.
